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INFORMATION ♦ EDUCATION ♦ ENFORCEMENT

THE EDUCATOR - Summer 2003

Monarch

By Jonna VanDyk

Roger Lake asked me to write an article about the Monarch Children’s Justice and Advocacy Center in Olympia where I’ve been an intern-therapist this past year helping victims of childhood sexual molestation as I complete work on a masters degree in counseling psychology. I am happy to oblige Roger, but want to start with some observations about the issue of child molestation in general, as this may help explain why the Monarch facility is so valuable and unique.

As I see it, there are two huge problems associated with the sexual molestation of children. Most important among them is the damage to the children. The second is the psychological profile of the offenders.

As we consider the messages in the movies and on television about sex offenders, one important piece of misinformation continually put forth concerns the way sex offenders look. Wouldn’t it be great if we could look at someone and know he is a sex offender, like they do on T.V.? People in law enforcement are able to recognize a lot of offenders: drug addicts and people with significant anti-social personalities have physical features which provide clues for the trained observer. Not only is a sex offender completely unrecognizable to most everyone, they appear so normal and upstanding that our minds want to take refuge in the thought that perhaps a mistake has been made. THIS person couldn’t possibly be a sex offender? Surely the child is confused!

I have been reading an account of a sex offender who bears a striking resemblance to Chevy Chase. This man has a masters degree in education, a wonderfully outgoing and charming personality, and was a grade school teacher. Of course the community had trouble believing he raped one of his 10-year-old students and molested countless others. Of course.

Because sex offenders look so normal and are sometimes really sweet, charming and vivacious, people, such as judges and jurors, look to the victims for clues as to what could be in error about the case, and the victims (witnesses) are little kids. And, too, sex offenders sometimes purposely search for little kids who need extra attention and love, so the child victims are, in some cases, weak witnesses.

Now add to all of this the mind bending, heart wrenching, soul stealing impact of sexual abuse on these kids, and what the heck kind of a witness does the law enforcement officer have? A tough situation at best. What’s worse for the cop is knowing that there’s a molester in your community you can’t press charges against.

In Olympia the officers have an option. Have the child treated at Monarch for a while until her (or his) self esteem is boosted. At the very least the child learns that the sexual abuse was not her fault. That’s an important message for the child, because consider the child’s developmental level. At a young age a child thinks that if something bad happens to them, it’s because they are bad. If they get spanked, it’s because they’ve been bad. If they get sexually abused, it’s because they’ve been bad – or so they think – and they come to see themselves as fundamentally rotten. Why should they be good, anyway? They’re bad. Why should they do well in school? They’re basically bad. This is how the thinking goes.

And most molesters groom their little victims to believe that they colluded in the sexual abuse. They groom the child to believe that the child wanted it and will get her own self (as well as the molester) in trouble if she squeals. Molesters are masters at mind games and manipulation.

Like all major trauma, sexual molestation causes intrusive thinking for a child. Just like a law enforcement officer who becomes traumatized by witnessing a horrible situation, a child’s thoughts keep getting interrupted by the intrusive thoughts about the abuse, so her school work suffers, as well as other tasks that require concentration. Also, sexual abuse makes a child angry beyond their ability to cope and they become quite a handful at home and in school. The anger and confusion might result in behavior that looks like hyperactivity, or they might suffer from crying jags. The bottom line is that, without help, the innocence, happiness and fun of childhood is forever stolen from them.

The Monarch facility has a program which provides free therapy for children and adults who’ve been victimized by molestation or sexual assault, but Monarch has much more than that. The Thurston County prosecutors who prosecute sex crimes have offices there. There is a doctor on staff, nurses and a medical facility associated with Providence St. Peter’s Hospital, and there are social workers. There is an interview room where officers from all Thurston County law enforcement agencies can interview children and meet with parents. It is a wonderful, well designed operation paid for through fund raising (50% of the budget) and state and federal funding.

The idea behind the Monarch structure is to provide “one stop shopping” for victims of molestation and sexual assault. With all the craziness, hurt and confusion surrounding sex crimes, it is at least somewhat comforting for the victims (the survivors) to go to one place where they get the all of the services that they need.

It shouldn’t be hard to see how victims get re-victimized by the intrusive interviews of law enforcement and attorneys, even the medical exams can be traumatizing. The children, often lonely and confused before all the molestation craziness, can suffer lifelong psychological damage. The goal of the Monarch therapy work is to help them come to accept at a very deep level that the abuse wasn’t their fault, and that they can get beyond it.

You may have heard the expression, “Sexual abuse robs a child of their soul.” In some cases, this is something you can see. The light in the child’s eyes is gone. Their little shoulders are slumped. Their sadness and withdrawal is apparent. The child has had to pull into herself to psychologically survive. Conversely, the face of an emotionally strong, psychologically healthy child glows, there is light in her eyes and it beams. Not all children are severely impacted by the sexual abuse trauma. This depends on several factors, including their family support, how extensive the abuse was, and whether or not it was long-term.

Intern-therapists receive coaching to be careful to not plant ideas in any child’s mind that might affect a future court trial. Our work involves providing a safe place for the child to talk about the traumatic memories and process them. We work at releasing the emotional charge of the memory, similar to all trauma work. Eventually, the child can talk about the abuse and elicit about the same emotional response as when she talks about taking swimming lessons or playing baseball.

Adult clients who suffered sexual abuse as children struggle with issues such as depression, high levels of anxiety, low self-esteem and an inability to protect themselves. Partnering with men who beat them is common, as is suffering more sexual trauma and rape as adults. Many look to illegal drugs to self-medicate.

Boys who are sexually abused sometimes act out their abuse by abusing others, by becoming perpetrators. Hence, children are being abused by other children, by adolescents, teens and adults. Sexual abuse is rampant in our society. Conservative estimates indicate that one-in-four girls and one-in-six boys will experience sexual abuse or sexual assault by age 18.

Every child and adult client of mine has been very different, but an important lesson I learned this past year was this: kids heal if they can get help. If they don’t get therapy until they are adults, it’s a lot harder for them to heal, but they can still work through the trauma if they want to. It takes courage. Just like it takes courage to be eight years old and collaborate with a cop to blow the whistle on a perpetrator who molested you, raped you and threatened to kill you. I know a child who did this. I know the cop who put the perp behind bars. Like the others I’ve met at Monarch, they are amazing people.